Zen and Other Ridiculous Things

For the last week or so, I've been listening to an audio book on the practice of Zen called Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind If you listen to- or read this book with the expectation of learning something from its words, you will find that its pages are full of confusing metaphors and useless anecdotes. But I've found that listening to it for the message and not for the words has made all the difference.

Recently in my life, people close to me have let me down in one way or another and it used to really bother me. Of course, to say that it doesn't bother me at all would be pretentious and foolish, but it does not bother me as much as it did and I'll tell you why. It's because I have come to understand that all of us cause trouble in one way or another. Just by being born we cause some trouble, there is nothing we can do about it, so to expect that we will never be let down by the ones we love is to expect the impossible. It is not reasonable to expect something from others that we cannot even do ourselves. We cannot demand perfection when we are not perfect. This understanding puts everything we do and everything others do in the proper perspective.

We are human. All of us.

Letting go of the bad things in life is hard, letting go of good things is even harder, but it can be done and there are very real rewards for doing so. There is a passage in the book I mentioned that says: "To walk one mile East is to walk one mile West." This line confused me at first, but I think I understand it a little better now. Each step we take is a step, no matter what direction we think we are going. For example, my brother and his wife recently announced that they would be moving to Utah. At first I was devastated. My brother's wife is my best friend and I am so lucky to be able to call her my sister. I didn't want to let her go, but I realized that even though she is taking a step away from me, she is also stepping closer to me. Let me explain. In the time that she has been here, I have taken her presence for granted. There have been times when we've gone for weeks without talking, simply because I knew that she was right there. That she would be right there whenever I finally got around to calling her. But now that she and my brother are taking this step, I have made a commitment to write to her every week. I have made a commitment to sit down with pen and paper and take the time to communicate like I should have done all along. So in moving physically further away, I hope we will grow spiritually and emotionally closer through meaningful correspondence.


"Every breath we exhale is inhaled by someone else. The light that shines on me shines on my neighbor also. In this way, we are all connected." I think we are all of us connected by more than just the air we breathe. We are connected by more than just the light that shines on us. We are connected by our family ties and our friendships. We are connected by thinking about one another. We are connected by Skype (as soon as I actually sign up for that :P). We are connected by our common goals and viewpoints. And most importantly, we are connected by love.

It's always been difficult for me to open up to others. I've always been a very private person, but I have learned that the more love we give, the more we receive. This is true with everything. We cannot throw a rock into a still pond and expect the water to remain motionless. It only takes one act - one rock, no matter the size - to make a difference. If we make a difference in someone else's life, we make a difference in our own life as well. Our time here on this earth is fleeting, but it is not meaningless. The things that we do here, the knowledge we acquire, the friendships we make, the love we share - everything we do will follow us into the eternities. Our experiences on this earth will serve us forever and we will continue to learn from them forever. Our entire lives on this earth amount to only a moment in the vast eternities, so what reason do we have to be upset by letdown? What right do we have to be angry when the things that happen to us are so meaningless in the grand scheme? We should try every day to be happy more than we are sad or angry, because if life is only a moment, shouldn't we make the most of it?